Ponderings

Lost in a sea of thought I have discovered new things.

I have been in this mood of just sitting and thinking for the past couple of days on anything that comes to mind and what has come to mind now is death once more.

So I was sitting there what would happen and such and then into my own death and you know what the first thought that created a great surge of sadness was "Who would look out my window" and in my head I imagined my window in my room. What's up with that? It does not make sense my window is small and faces the next house and all you can see is the concrete wall and some really nice looking lily plants. But then I got into thinking maybe it was a subconscious thought that window was a metaphor. While thinking this I started in a list of window metaphors, didn’t lead much of any were tell the truth. I cannot think of one reason I should feel such sadness over a window and I do feel a great surge of sadness.
I suppose I will have to start writing a list of window metaphors and try to figure this odd occurrence out.

Song

So I am writing a song now I cannot seem to finish it. I just dont think it sounds well.

Open your eyes
See what your missing
All of your life
Only one path was clear
But you will find that its not that easy
You Throw your dreams away
For something better, you were always
Wanting more, but you seem to have found that its easier to just hold on
Live another day, sleep another night,
What is right? You'll never know, if you just keep holding on.
Open your eyes
Do you believe just holding on will change your life to what you hope will happen
Only one life to live
So many things still to do
One more year and you think you will be there
Will you find it there Among the faces you have lost
Was it really worth the price?

Live another day, sleep another night,
What is right? You'll never know, if you just keep holding on.

Poem

For truth I know does have a price, And not what we observe is always kind. But with this said I still do seek, The veiled knowledge that you keep In this world the words we speak take many forms I wish to see its many forms Let my knowledge show me what I dare to seek.

So yes I am here again is almost 5 am and I am reflecting upon some topics which have been in my mind as of late.

First being why is it when people say the end of the world is coming they think it’s a bad thing. If there is an ending won’t there also be a new beginning so let us see what happens. Maybe this goes with my line of thinking way fear the inevitable.

So after a bit of reading I came unto a new conundrum that has been tackled by many philosophers over time so my line of thinking is not new. Why do people seem to just pass of some reactions of people just as human condition? Also this got me on a line of thinking why do we try to explain every thing does it just make us feel better or more sound in are existence. Then why do we need to understand how every thing works I seem to think we as humans have a big problem with immortality. In truth I believe that is way we do most of the things we do. We try to be remembered so in fact we never die. But isn’t that just a type of fear and how would one overcome such a thing as that. Or is that just facing death it self. I myself believe that death is inevitable, but what I do fear is on my death bed to realize I never truly lived isn’t that much worse then fearing death itself because if you regret on such a thing as that there is nothing you could do at the time. I want to live the best I can and explore learn what I can and enjoy every minute of it the bad and good. Then I got onto the thinking what is it all for if I die were does all this knowledge I covet so much go. That is were I found my answer to many of the problem in this line of thinking also why so many need a religion and or belief so they don’t have to worry about the why they live but just live for that. When you have something making you feel special that there is a reason for your life so you can just live makes it so much easier but also I believe makes it tougher. That contradiction is what makes life well life.

Daily reflections

Here I am pondering once again on things that have me going in a never ending circle of reflection.

If there is one thing I cannot stand its hypocrites and I caught myself today being one and almost died. I couldn’t believe my own line of thinking. I was with a coworker and we watching the news and what not and we got on the topic of religion, which you shouldn’t do at work any way just so you know. And he actually believes that to have morals you must have a religion and not just any religion a Christian one which I argued about with him about it and within my own head I am like how can he think such things and nut case seriously. I had to stop and be like wait I am a firm believer that it is your choice to believe in what you want and I should not judge you about it so I had to stop being so hostile towards him about it and try to take it from his point of view which was hard for me he is against a lot of things that I believe is a persons right to believe *breath*

Then once break was done I am doing work yadda yadda yadda and I got my mind on the track of what makes people believe what they do. I have always believed we are creatures of are environment and I shouldn’t judge you but try to see form were your standing, which is pretty hard because I try not only saying aloud but in my own head and have to reprimand my self for a lot of stuff that I just assume on which I try very hard not to but some times it just happens and I will have to step back and look at it again make sure I am not going against my own person rules. Which I will stand up for what I believe in but I always try to take from the other side as well. There are always two sides to every story and I always try to remember that.

Favorite quote of the day

I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

Poem

I am the spirit of silver magic,
But it comes with such a price;
I am not an immortal being,
For that would be too easy.

I am the spirit of death,
but within of the living,
But only seen as the dead,
When without life there is no death.

And you, contemptible man are nothing more
than a child of my toil,
You see me as nothing but what you cannot understand,
In so doing you hate me for something you do not and will not ever comprehend.

You and I are similar,
neither of us are superior.

Ponderings

Once again I sit and ponder in the wee hours of the morn. It’s horrid habit that hurts my brain this early.

I Have always been on that doesn’t judge a person on looks which a lot of people find weird, yet I look at a person and the first thoughts are not of what they are wearing but the emotion that they hold or there body language.
Then I got to thinking why.

But as of late I have had to reprimand myself because I will do that to a certain group of people by accident. This does annoy me that I would fall back to such a thing, then I realized how can you not they seem to have developed a way of thinking to there clothing. Then again there are always ones that don’t fit that mold so I will have to work on that.

Now something that’s been bothering me. I will get in debates with people I find them highly amusing and you really can tell who a person is by how they debate especially if they rise to anger. I love to hear others beliefs no matter what they are but I cannot stand if they claim to follow something but do not know its history or anything beyond the newer forms not that its wrong that they follow a newer form but you should learn how it evolved into what it is now, then again I am weird like that. It just bugs me that some people claim to a belief or religion yet just do it because they want to break some mold when in truth there are hundreds more like them, yet then claim to just want to fit in. This contradiction is a normal path of thinking I believe when you search out and try to explore yourself and your soundings but there is a time when you need to stop and think and grow up a bit and see it as it is.

On another note I am sick of people claiming to be something once again then get overly angry when you ask questions about it. Such as there was someone claiming to be a vampire not saying he wasn’t actually I never questioned the validity of his claim but the history of it were he came from and such and he got overly offended which leads me to believe that he is either hiding something or his claims cannot be true. I could care less what you are but I am a curious creature and like to get information I do not mean to offend I just want knowledge and if you don’t want to share fine but do not say I know nothing and could never understand, how do you know if you don’t at least try.